And who better to declare my business in Gibsonton to than the leader of the Gibsonton Defence Alliance?
He didn't seem very enthusiastic when I revealed my plans to him.
The very next day, I made haste to the nearest Police Department to meet up with ihall4. We exchanged words. I'm afraid I overwhelmed him.
Doxxist soon followed suit. I tend to have that effect on people. It can be rather irksome. Good thing I'm not easily stressed. I retired to a library in the center of town to sleep a while.
The next day I decided to do a bit of a pub crawl. Of course, whenever I go pubbing these days it really feels like I'm slumming it. There are so many obnoxious drunks in Malton. It was hardly surprising when I encountered Kurt Wells who claimed to be the "Zombie terminator." I decided to perform a little experiment.
It fried his circuits.
Just more evidence for my theory: Robots should avoid paradoxes, water and "wuv" whenever possible. I think he'd be much better company as a zombie to be honest.
It was back to business as usual the next day. I encountered Officer Murphy in Skarin Row PD.
Nothing like the feeling you get after killing a cop.
Wyzeguy6 was next up.
One would expect from his name that there was a little more going on upstairs than the stupid look on his face revealed.
But one would have been mistaken.
I sat down and sighed. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. Here I am in the company of Malton's finest killers and gentlemen and I'm bored. It could be that I was feeling somewhat stiffled. I'm usually very independent. I'm not used to taking orders. DORIS is a great group and indeed, Lockettside was some of the most fun I've had since coming back to Malton. And although our priority targets are Imperium and DA we're absolutely free to shoot whomever we deem fit (even fellow rummers, though this should go without saying.) But this war is tedious. To be honest I imagine the fact that I'd not died since coming to Gibsonton had a little more to do with my boredom. Not at the hands of anyone that mattered anyhow. Finis took a shot at me with the same old line he used last time and is apparently still stalking this blog, afraid to leave a comment, but he barely registers. If all the Imperium can do is rely on zergs and spies to fight their wars for them it isn't surprising that I was getting bored. It started to feel like I was killing retarded [space] monkeys. So I decided to step outside and take in some fresh air and a nice long nap in the cemetery on my way up to Dulston. Of course I didn't expect to find much action up there either. But a change of scenery was desparately needed.
I dragged my rotten self up to the fastest revive point in Dulston. It was here that I encountered a couple of rather antisocial zombie hunters, Adelaire and MushRoom002. Seems they weren't aware that shooting zombies at revive points or outside is bad etiquette.
It wasn't too long before I got a revive though. The mid-day summer sun and a lovely shady tree made for excellent sleeping conditions and before I knew it, I was restored to full health and ready to jam with MushRoom.
I decided to share a poem with him that I had been working on before nodding off.
He started to freak out. As it turned out he was having a rather bad trip.
Let that be a lesson to you kids: don't take what you can't handle.
I headed back to Gibsonton the next day. I still had a little to get out of my system before I went back to targetting Imperium (or what was left of them.) Some long pig was exactly what I needed.
A sprig of Rosmary and maybe some garlic. Season with cracked pepper, maybe a little sea salt...
Hey, I'm not above a little cannibalism when the mood takes me. Sure there were more in there I could have killed. But my enthusiasm had returned. I wasn't even in Gibsonton so I decided to let sleeping townies lie and save my bullets for more worthy targets.
It was a rather wise choice. The next day I didn't have to travel far to find a friend from Pitneybank.
Good Bub is a cancer, he likes long walks in the cemetery, headshots and women with massive...
Guns. He also takes a keen interest in the zodiac.
It's true astrology is bullshit. I'm a Taurus and I'm supposed to be compatible with Cancers. I mean really, how compatible do we look?
Okay, he's not Imperium. But it was absolutely necessary that Good Bub died. I expect I'll be doing a little more hunting bounty hunters after this Gibsonton business. Hell, I'm not above a little bounty hunting myself as Hackslide discovered.
IMPERIUM ARE MURDERERS? It's more likely than you think. At least I had a decent reason to kill him. The knave had the nerve to shoot the lovely leggy Le Penseur of the Philosophe Knights and the Convivial Canderous Ordo one of the founding members of DORIS. Hempknightcc however just got in the way of my gun...while I was shooting it...
Repeatedly...
So did Dead Dennis Morre...
HK 47 was quick to respond to my commands and hastily dispatched with JayDepp in my wake. I gave him a lube job as a reward.
And so the war rages on. It is unknown how long this conflict will continue or whether Malton will endure in it's wake. The good news is that Duke is back from a rather long er...nap and in fighting form I might add. Tonight he managed to kill 3. Two in Cattle Bank and another in St Matthew's Cathedral. So at least I've got some company now. I may stay on in Santlerville for a little while afterwards, though I am starting to feel Pitneybank calling me back once again. I need to dedicate a few weeks to really see the sites and get comfortable. Especially after a lovely local girl by the name of Julius made me an offer through IRC that I simply could not pass up. I love orange julius.
2 comments:
STATEMENT: It's always a pleasure to serve a master such as yourself. You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, poisoning all you touch with your presence. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere.
Thanks HK 47! There's be an extra lube job in it for you if you manage to track down Officer Murphy for me.
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